I live in Canada.
Our summers are short and not always consistently hot and sunny.
Our winters can be long, dark and cold.
This summer in Ontario was one for the record books. Hot, Dry and did I mention, hot?
Yesterday, on September 1st I had to go digging around to find a sweater to go for a walk for the first time since I can’t remember…May?
Change is in the air. Fall is approaching with winter at its heels.
Are you looking forward to the cooler weather or are you sitting in a corner clutching your flip -flops?
The seasons are always a good opportunity for us to notice how we deal with change; do we fight it or embrace it?
The fear of change (of any kind, even when they know it is for the better) is one obstacle that I find keeps my clients stuck and unable to achieve the happiness and success that they crave in their lives.
What I have found works well with them is to go through some gratitude exercises, yes I said gratitude. How can that possibly be of help?
Here are three reasons that you need to consider while you sit there clutching the past like a winter-hating, flip flop clutching, summer addict.
1. REMEMBER THE GOOD TIMES:
Gratitude is a FEELING. Our emotions and feelings are stored in a deeper place in our psyche. Whenever we notice anything in our lives that is GOOD and we stop and feel grateful, we store that feeling and can access it later when we need it. (i.e. The feeling of sand between our toes on a minus 40C day, or thinking of that hug your son gave you before he left for college as you sit in his room weeping.)
2. LET GO AND MOVE ON:
Gratitude can help you let go and move forward with more grace from both good and negative experiences:
- HAPPY MEMORIES can be left behind with a fondness that they happened instead of regret that they are over.
- UNPLEASANT MEMORIES can be neatly stored away with a sprinkle of gratitude for the lessons we learned from them. This helps us move through and beyond the struggles in life with less resentment, regret, or blame.
3. CONFIDENCE IN YOUR FUTURE:
Gratitude helps you embrace whatever change is coming. When we really understand that gratitude can be found in any area of our lives, we develop confidence to move forward into change knowing we will discover it there as well.
The more gratitude we plug into our lives, the more we will find to be grateful for.
I love to share the tools I have developed to help you embed positivity into your life, take some time to peruse my website and social media.
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September 19, 2016 | PositiveCoach
He married my Mother. In the 1940’s it was the right thing to do under certain circumstances. For that, he is my hero.
In the 50’s he gave up his career as a jazz musician for his family and tried to settle into suburban life. For that, he is my hero.
In 1961, just when they were settled into family life with their three teens, I came along. He never wavered, I was Daddy’s little girl, the apple of his eye. For that, he is my hero.
In 1966 my mother became gravely ill. He worked and did his best to care for his family. For that, he is my hero.
Without my mothers help in running the business, it failed. Along with that came massive medical bills and bankruptcy. He kept plugging along. For that, he is my hero.
In amongst the fragile foundation of their marriage crumbling around him, he committed to providing home dialysis care for my mother. For that, he is my hero.
Within the boiling pot of drama and dysfunction around his affair and their separation, he never once spoke badly of my mother to me. For that, he is my hero.
In order to accommodate his love for me and his love for his girlfriend, he went against my mothers strong (and utterly hurt based) rules that I was not to be anywhere near “her”. It was the only way he could see spending more time with me. For that, he is my hero.
He was there for his children when our mother died. For that he is my hero.
No matter how ill and fragile he became, he always had a fun little game or trick to play with my sons. They loved their grandfather. For that, he is my hero.
On his deathbed, his words “Honey, why are your working so hard?” changed my view of proving I could be a career woman and sent me on a path of self-discovery. For that, he is my hero.
Now ten years after his passing, I still feel his love. For that, he is my hero.
For most of my life, I looked back upon my childhood and only saw the dysfunction. It was a crazy ride that could prove to be a script for a soap opera. I had allowed the pain and heartbreak to define me for much of my adult life.
It wasn’t until I learned how to dig deep within gratitude that I was able to let go, forgive and look back at my childhood with a lens of love and empathy.
Had I written this list prior to doing the gratitude work it would have felt like an assault on my father instead of a tribute. Gratitude helped me open up to see that he never, ever intended to hurt anyone. That is the power of gratitude.
June 19, 2016 | PositiveCoach
I read Dr. Gary Chapman’s book “The 5 Love Languages” years ago. I have to say; this amazingly simple message has had a huge impact on all of my relationships, most importantly my marriage. It has also helped me coach my clients around their relationships.
Please take less than 15 minutes to go through this LOVE LANGUAGES TEST and also, encourage anyone close to you to take it as well.
This book and this test created a whole new level of self-awareness within me that has helped me understand what I need from my husband in order to feel loved.
It also wasn’t a surprise to me that we both have very different love languages!
So what do we do with this information? I suggest that you first articulate your love languages to your significant other. My hubby is an amazing man but I don’t expect him to read my mind, the poor guy, I’m hard enough to understand at times!
The second is to look at what their love languages are and make sure you make a conscious effort to show them love, their way.
A very wise former colleague of mine used to say we have it all wrong, it isn’t ‘ do unto others as you would have done unto yourself. ’ it is ‘ do unto others as they would have done unto themselves .’
After you take the test please leave me your comments below! I would love to hear your thoughts!
May 4, 2016 | PositiveCoach
Back in 2006 my world changed dramatically in many ways. My beloved father passed away, both of my sons left for college the same week, we moved from our beautiful home in Barrie to a “make do” rental and began the ominous task of building our own home.
I became mildly depressed, hid myself from the world, quit something I loved which was skating, an adult synchronized skating team, stopped exercising and ate my way up to thirty pounds.
It truly felt like I had woven a cocoon around myself, limiting me from living my life fully.
We can blame the circumstances in our lives or the people who let us down or hurt us for our cocoon, or we can take responsibility for what we allowed to affect us. Until I took responsibility, looked in the mirror (with disgust) and decided that this wasn’t how it was going to be, only then could I begin to push my way out.
I joined Weight Watchers, lost the weight and became a leader. That job fed my soul and my need to help others and feel needed. I found Zumba and became an instructor where again, I fed my soul and body.
Now that path has led to my ultimate joy, coaching others to get out of their cocoon.
This is why you see BUTTERFLIES in my branding, they represent the beauty that life brings us when we let go of what doesn’t serve us anymore.
Contact me to learn how to release yourself from the cocoon that life has woven so you can take flight towards your dreams, goals and desires.
April 29, 2016 | PositiveCoach